There Are Questions I Can't Answer
by thundercow
Summary: The first time he asks Chitanda a question, he doesn't get an answer. — HoutarouChitanda.


**notes** - something that isn't really here nor there, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!

* * *

**there are questions I can't answer**

The first time he asks Chitanda a question, he doesn't get an answer.

"Chitanda-san! Is there anyone you like?" Satoshi asks in his most casual way. The boy must be in one of those moods, the kind of moods that only Ibara can boast to somewhat understand.

"Ah, um," Chitanda flutters in her seat.

Ibara bangs a fist on the table. Houtarou doesn't flinch because he's used to hearing mighty sounds from her small frame, but slides his gaze to her direction to avoid causing further offence.

"Fuku-chan, you can't just ask questions like that!" she scolds. Satoshi laughs and says a bunch of flippant things like '_I was kidding_' or '_it was all for fun_' or '_Do you know the sun isn't going to die for another 6 billion years. Good for us, huh?' _and Houtarou doesn't really pay attention because he's heard it all before.

He wonders why Satoshi never gets tired of reusing and expending excuses. He's about to return to his novel when he glances at Chitanda. It's an involuntary action that doesn't really serve any purpose, and something he can't stop himself from doing as of late. And he's doing it again. Excellent.

Surfacing from his own thoughts, he realises that Chitanda looks like she's been caught in the act of something. She meets his eyes, flashes nothing less than a blinding smile, and directs her attention back to the editorial note she's trying to write for the next_Hyouka_ publication.

Later, at the end of the day, after Satoshi and Ibara turn down some street to buy something that neither of them probably need at this very moment – Houtarou finds himself in the very promising situation of being alone with Chitanda.

They don't usually talk unless there's a need to – Chitanda's only saving grace is that when she doesn't have a question, she doesn't make small talk in an attempt to fill up the gap of silence between them. She's doesn't find it unpleasant the way Satoshi does. It's comfortable and saves heaps of energy. Houtarou cherishes these fleeting, peaceful moments the same way some kids cherish Christmas.

Today though, it feels more odd than anything else. Chitanda doesn't make an effort to speak. He studies her profile and the angle of her shoulders and thinks that something is different. Houtarou wages a war of epic proportions within himself, complete with a soundtrack of drums and trumpets. Maybe he should try talking– but, no, why would he want to cause all this trouble for himself? Is he unconsciously masochistic somewhere? What constitutes masochism anyway? Will he need to find Ibara for further consultation on the matter? Will Ibara charge fees? – of course that woman would.

Chitanda looks over at him and offers him a quiet grin. Everyone drops their weapons.

"So, about – Satoshi's question…" Houtarou starts off strong but his voice slowly tapers off. Tilting his chin, he stares across the street. A mother is window-shopping while her elbow-tall son presses aggressively at a handheld console.

"Ah, I can't answer that now, Oreki-san," Chitanda explains. "I mean, I-I don't have an answer!"

He feels shortchanged. After all this time, setting aside segments of energy to answer hundreds of her questions, this is the reply he gets for his. Houtarou finds it incredibly unfair. Yet, he doesn't dwell on it.

"Oreki-san, are you angry?" she asks suddenly.

Houtarou nearly hurts his neck when he whips his gaze back to her. "What gave you that idea?"

Chitanda looks embarrassed. She laughs a little and the corner of her mouth lifts, but she doesn't say anything after that. Houtarou wonders if she's not answering his questions on purpose, if she wants to add to the ever growing irony that is his high school life. Chitanda must be out to get him.

He stares at the sidewalk.

"No," he says. Then, they part ways.

* * *

Houtarou wakes up to the sound of rain hammering against his window. He blearily pushes his blanket off and looks outside to see how bad the storm is. The window is splattered with trails of raindrops. It's hard to see more than a third of the street outside his house. The storm makes the sky a copper yellow and makes him feel like turning back to bed. He's about 65% of the way there before his sister bursts into the room with unneeded fanfare, carrying no less than five teru teru bozus in her hands.

This is considered one of her less spontaneous wake-up calls.

On the soggy, slippery journey to school, he finds Chitanda struggling up the hill with a white umbrella and a rippling skirt. He doesn't quicken his pace to catch up with her, content with staring at her back and avoiding conversation so early in the day. Of course, Chitanda has never agreed with his expectations of her. Houtarou confirms this as he watches her slow down and turn around. On sheer, sociable coincidence, she spots him. Chitanda immediately glues a hand to the edge of her skirt and waits for him beside a lamppost. She's doing it again. Noticing him. It's weird.

"Good morning, Oreki-san!" she says once he's within earshot. She seems to be the only source of sunlight on this rainy day. Houtarou blinks.

"'Morning," he replies before accidentally stepping into a puddle. Chitanda exclaims and worries over his wet shoes and the dreariness of rainy days on his behalf. Houtarou finds himself half agreeing and half not.

They reach the school gates with no other casualties. She never slips on the pavement and her umbrella doesn't get turned inside-out. A small part of him had actually been prepared for these things to happen – or, maybe, he'd been anticipating them.

Houtarou wonders when he'd been the type to waste energy trying to imagine things that weren't even real, and realises that he's been doing that for awhile now. How nice. He purses his lips and the grip on his umbrella tightens.

* * *

During lunch break, Chitanda appears in his classroom. It almost offends him that none of his classmates turn their heads or break their conversations when she walks up to his desk and begins talking to him. Are they so used to her presence?

"Oreki-san! We're having an official club meeting after school today!" Chitanda announces.

"I'm always in the room after school. You didn't need to come all the way here to tell me that," he says, and watches Chitanda's excitement deflate. She quickly regroups and clenches her hands against his overwhelming logic.

"But, it's an _official_ meeting," she repeats, and beams at how well she's exerting her authority as the chairperson of the club. Houtarou feels the corner of his lip twitch up. He rubs a hand against his mouth and nods, lowering his eyes to his desk.

"Alright! See you after school, then!" Chitanda returns the nod before whisking herself out of the classroom.

His knuckles remain against his face until the bell rings.

* * *

Satoshi rings his bicycle bell as he coasts to a stop beside Houtarou at the intersection. "How odd of you to be the one calling me out on a Sunday!" he says by way of greeting. Houtarou doesn't need more salt on his wound. He responds to Satoshi with a grunt. His friend deflects with a laugh. For once, Houtarou wishes he had the energy to tip Satoshi's bike over. But, nah, even picturing that calls for too much effort.

As they make their way to the shopping district, Houtarou still isn't sure of what he plans to do there. "Are you giving anything to Ibara on White Day?" he asks.

"Now, why would I do that?" Satoshi replies.

Houtarou raises an eyebrow.

"Maybe. I'm not sure yet," the boy changes his answer swiftly. He chuckles. "Why? Do you want to get Mayaka something too?"

"I'll pass." Forever.

Satoshi's bike grinds to a halt as a wide grin spreads across his face. There he goes again. Houtarou looks over his shoulder and gestures to the street ahead in a bid to get him moving again.

"I see! I see!" his friend says with confident smugness. He holds his arms and cups a hand to his chin, subjecting Houtarou to a onceover. "Finally doing something, are we, Houtarou? How does refreshing, youthful love feel like?"

"Like you're one to talk," he grumbles.

Satoshi doesn't retort for once. He pushes off a foot and overtakes Houtarou.

* * *

In the end, White Day comes and goes with nothing happening. Ibara's cousin got married in America or something.

"Ew, that's weird," Ibara comments when she finds out that he remembered.

Chitanda had gotten two confessions during the period – one from a boy in her class and another from a senior – and had very politely rejected them. Houtarou knows more than just the vague details of it. And it's strange to think that it's not because Satoshi or Ibara had asked for an elaboration. Chitanda is the one to divulge them. She doesn't look too bothered by it, and from the way she's reacting, it looks like this is her first time dealing with confessions.

"But, it was so brave of them!" she says, impressed, but probably not the way those two males want her to be. "Maybe I should go and apologise to them properly!" She's halfway out of her chair before Ibara clamps onto her shoulder and manoeuvres her back into place.

"For the third time in a row? You're far too nice, Chi-chan," Ibara advises her.

"They looked so sad, though. And they must have needed a lot of courage to do that," Chitanda says, her voice still filled with a certain degree of reverence.

"Why didn't you accept either of them?" Satoshi leans against the table and asks.

Houtarou freezes in the middle of turning a page. He quickly mats it down before the others can notice, and glances up from the book.

"Because I didn't reciprocate their feelings," Chitanda says sheepishly while Ibara throws a well-aimed punch at Satoshi's arm.

"I hope you don't have any smart comments, Oreki." How kind of Ibara threaten him.

"Don't worry," he tells her. "I wouldn't waste energy on things like this."

"Really, Oreki-san?"

Instantly, he feels three pairs of eyes on him. He places his book down.

"Isn't there something else we should be discussing? Like, why they stopped serving curry in the canteen?"

"Ah right! About that – !" Chitanda rises onto her feet, attention snagged.

Since when had he been the type to go looking for questions to answer? Houtarou cringes inwardly.

* * *

"Hey, Oreki."

"Yes, Ibara?"

"Wow. I don't understand what it is about you that annoys me so much," Ibara says offhandedly.

"I'm aware of that. Thank you for reminding me," Houtarou replies.

"No, you slug, that wasn't what I wanted to talk about."

He sits up from the table and turns to address the girl properly. "What is it?"

Ibara stares at him from head to toe, reminiscent of Satoshi. "You don't look any different."

"That's good to know."

The girl opens her mouth, but whatever vengeful remarks she has, she swallows before collecting herself. "You've got to buck up, Oreki," she tells him coolly.

"What for?"

Ibara rolls her eyes. "Just listen to me."

"Naturally, Ibara."

She graces him with one last icy stare before leaving the Geog Prep room, mumbling to herself.

* * *

"Ibara was being odd earlier this afternoon," Houtarou says at the end of the day. Satoshi and Ibara had left early to attend to their respective club duties, leaving Houtarou the sanctity to plough through five chapters.

"In what way?" Chitanda asks, keen to know.

"She said something about bucking up," he explains, yawning behind one hand.

Chitanda sits back against her chair and looks thoughtful. "I don't think you need to, Oreki-san. You're fine just as you are."

There. Right there exactly. She's doing that thing again.

"Um." He fingers the corner of his book and finds himself unable to return her gaze. "T-thanks, but, you don't need to say things like that."

Chitanda shakes her head and refuses to look away from him.

"Oreki-san, about that question you asked me before," she begins to say.

"What question?" It takes him awhile to recall that there has only ever been one prominent question. He pulls at the collar of his uniform.

Chitanda reads the expression on his face. "Yes, that one," she says sweetly.

"You don't need to answer that, Chitanda, I was kidding when I asked you that," he says quickly. "I mean, no, we shouldn't joke about things like that, but you don't need to tell anyone anything if you don't want to, it's completely fine if you want to keep it to yourself, I would myself – I mean, I would understand –" he stops to catch his breath, and realises that he's using a lot more energy than he should. It's always the case when it comes to Chitanda. "I mean." He doesn't know what he means. He gives up.

Chitanda is unmoving. She tucks her hair behind her ear and reigns in her calmness. When she places her hand on the table, it's too close to his. They've held hands before, but why does Houtarou feel like this is the closest their hands have ever been?

"Oreki-san, may I answer?" she asks.

Houtarou inhales. When did he become unable to say 'no' to Chitanda?


End file.
